Feedback from First Draft

The first draft of our trailer (above) was reviewed by our peers and teachers. The feedback we got was both positive and negative.

• Add intertitles to help explain the narrative: we recognised that the narrative wasn't necessarily completely clear to the audience. However after discussion, we decided that despite being a convention of a movie trailer, it wouldn't fit with our trailer as there was nowhere appropriate to put them. In addition, it is important that due to a twist at the end, we don't reveal too much of the true nature of the plot.
•  Make the transition between the slow and fast section smoother: originally, there was a second of silence between the first track and the voiceover, and then the voiceover and the second track. However this made the transition sound very jolty. We got rid of the silences, added fades to the sound and added a quieter section of our second track 'Pretty Parties' before the full drum version kicked in. Although still not completely smooth, we have found that the transition isn't as jolted as it was in our first draft. 
• Open with a different shot: due to the first shot being of one of the characters talking, it looked like that character was saying the voiceover, out of sync. We decided to change the order of the shots so that the shot playing at the time of the first voiceover was not of anyone talking.

• Change one of the tracks: the general consensus was that the two tracks that we had chosen did not fit together. As we had struggled to find a suitable second track, we agreed that we should try and change the first one. We trialed a softer version of 'Pretty Parties' but this did not work at all, leading us to revert back to our original song. After consideration, we decided that the tracks worked better together now that the transition wasn't as awkward.

• We also received positive feedback. Our peers and teachers said that the second half of our trailer effectively built tension and our final shot, of Holly saying "help me" after the institutional was also powerful as it left the audience feeling tense.